Abderian
by Rylitah
Summary: By day she's just a dainty princess; by night she's a magical girl set on ridding Smash Mansion of the crimes committed by its own residents! With her trusty (and unwilling, but now that they know her secret, she will never let them go) sidekicks Pit and Olimar, Peach will bring these criminals to justice and solve mysteries along the way, like the questionable anime Marth watches.
1. For Beginnings

_Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…_

The loud ticking of the clock hanging upon the kitchen wall was almost deafening without any other sound to accompany it. The full moon shone brilliantly through the window, casting the room in a luminescent glow. It seemed the only time the mansion would ever get peace and quiet was during the night, where all of the smashers would be asleep without another care in the world.

… At least, all of the smashers _should_ have been asleep. The clock's ticking was barely enough to cover the noise of a single person tiptoeing his way inside of the kitchen, looking around sneakily in case he was being followed.

"All right, I'm in," he smirked to himself. "And I didn't wake anyone up this time. Perfect."

He allowed himself this moment of victory before getting to the task at hand. A cookie jar was placed high on top of the refrigerator to prevent any of the smaller smashers and children from reaching it, but it was no problem for him. Quickly and quietly he snatched the jar and cradled it close to his chest; the treasure he so desired was just inside…

The top was removed swiftly, leaving no barrier between him and the cookies within. He smirked and reached a hand inside, and just before the tips of his fingers could touch the first cookie—

"Captain Douglas Falcon!"

Falcon swore and dropped the vase. Luckily for him (and by extension, all of the other smashers), it landed on his foot and was saved from shattering into millions of little pieces. The pain in his foot was almost excruciating, but he managed to keep from shouting out and turned to the person that had caught him.

The lights turned on at the exact same moment as the person's exclamation, and Falcon wasn't exactly sure who he was looking at. A white mask covered her face, and a white hood connected to the collar of her outfit was pulled over her head. A bright purple ribbon gleamed as the brooch placed upon her chest, and she seemed to be wearing a light pink sailor fuku from one of Marth's animes. The mystery woman also wore lavender thigh high boots and elbow length gloves, along with a darker purple skirt that almost seemed to be too small for her. Light blue eyes glared at the thief from beneath the mask, and Falcon hesitated.

"… Uh," he started intelligently, "Do I know you, by any chance…?"

"Captain Douglas Falcon," the female said again. Falcon had a feeling he _knew_ who this voice belonged to, but he couldn't exactly place it… "You dare steal one of the cookies that Zelda so lovingly made approximately seven hours ago? Every single smasher got one cookie each and would be getting another tomorrow, but you couldn't wait, could you? How do you feel about this?"

Falcon blinked. "I'm… not sure."

"Guilty, is the emotion you should be feeling!" The woman snapped, and he took a step back. She fumbled around with her fingers for a moment before magically summoning a bright pink staff.

"What the hell is that—"

"You have ten seconds to put that cookie back in the jar and put the jar back on top of the refrigerator!" The newcomer ordered, thrusting the staff out in front of her as a weapon. "Do it now, Falcon!"

"Uh, okay." Horribly confused and bewildered, Falcon complied. Easily he set the jar back on top of the fridge and turned to face the person that had caught him once more. "So, uh… I'm just going to go out on a limb and say I know you. Why are you wearing that get up…? Please don't be Marth. I'll scream if you're Marth."

"My identity isn't important," she responded. There was something about that voice that reminded Falcon of someone he knew, yet something still seemed off… was this person using a voice changer? "What _is_ important is the crime you were about to commit."

"What crime? I just wanted a midnight snack!"

"A cookie, without asking the person who _made_ that snack!" The woman snapped back. "Do you know just how heartbroken Zelda would be, to see one cookie missing from the jar? One person tomorrow wouldn't be able to eat that cookie and would be sad, and then the entire mansion would be in an uproar over who ate it. And you would just be sitting in your room, gloating about what a good job you did. But no! I am here to stop you!"

Falcon scratched his head. He had stayed up just to sneak another cookie out, but obviously that plan didn't work out very well. He even left his helmet back in his room because he was so sure he wouldn't get caught! Usually he wouldn't be seen dead without that thing. The only person who had ever seen him without it was his roommate –

"You're thinking of things completely unrelated to the matter at hand!"

"How the hell did you know what I was thinking?"

"You had a dazed look in your eye, and I can tell all. Now are you going to cooperate peacefully, or am I going to have to use force?"

"But I already have cooperated peacefully—"

"Force it is!" Suddenly and without warning, the newcomer jabbed the staff out in front of her and into Falcon's stomach, forcing the man back with an '_oof_!' Quickly, she raised the weapon over her head and slammed it onto the 'criminal's head, sending him slumping downwards in an unconscious heap. Satisfied that her work was done, the bringer of justice stepped back, a content smile on her face.

She pulled her hood back, revealing light blonde hair that flowed down to the middle of her back. The mask was removed shortly after, and the dainty face of Peach shone through. "What a good night's work," she told herself giddily. "I think I'm really starting to get the hang of this whole 'magical girl' business!" She giggled and looked down at Falcon's unresponsive body. "Hm, now what to do with you…?"

There was the option of just simply _dragging _him back to his room, but that would risk waking the others up with the noise. Knowing just how curious some of them could be, that wouldn't do. She could end up just _leaving_ the poor man there, but she didn't like to leave her messes behind either. Was it even possible for someone like her to lift someone as big as Falcon?

"I'll have to make it work; it's my only choice!" She said resolvedly to herself and leaned over to pick the man up. Somehow the magical girl outfit seemed to make her feel stronger, and she found that she was able to carry him with relative ease. _This just makes my job easier!_

Peach didn't know how much of a light sleeper Falcon's roommate was, but as long as she was in and out before she could arouse any suspicion, she didn't care. She bit her lip and flew up the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her. Admittedly, she did probably look a little silly, carrying someone twice her size. But no one else was awake, so nothing mattered.

The door to Marth and Ike's bedroom opened the moment she passed and she hissed under her breath, unceremoniously dumping Falcon onto the floor. A disgruntled blue haired swordsman stared at her, clad in soft, silky pajamas.

"… Do I know you?" Ike narrowed his eyes, trying to make out the blurry figure in front of him. Peach mentally sighed in relief; he was too tired to tell who she was.

She shook her head. "No. You do not."

They stayed there for a few more minutes before Ike finally nodded. "Okay." He turned and went back inside of his room, locking the door behind him.

Peach smiled, a surge of confidence welling within her due to the victory. Then she remembered the task at hand, and went back to hauling Falcon across the floor. _His room has to be close by… I can't have another close call like that_, the magical girl thought to herself in disdain.

Finally, she came upon the door to the room she knew to be the one. Briefly she considered setting the man back down so she could open it, but decided to kick it open instead. It was faster.

"Sorry," she whispered to whoever was around to listen before kneeling over and dragging Falcon inside of the room by his feet. Quickly she tossed him onto the bed, and turned to make her escape.

"Ow! What the—Falcon, what are you_ doing_?"

Peach's eyes widened and she turned. Her mistake was immediately apparent. _Wrong bed, wrong bed!_

As Captain Olimar struggled to push the much larger captain lying unconsciously on top of him away, the magical girl slowly and quietly tiptoed her way out the door. A blue Pikmin stared at her retreating figure curiously and tilted its head. Curiosity getting the better of it, it hopped down from Olimar's bed (as the Pikmin refused to sleep anywhere away from their leader) and clambered onto the edge of Peach's skirt. With its small body and light weight, it went completely unnoticed by the woman.

"I can't close the door now, Olimar will know something's up," Peach frowned to herself, thinking with her chin in the palm of her hand. "Maybe tonight wasn't such a total success after all… But at least I did stop a crime!" Victoriously she twirled her overly large staff, almost smashing it into the wall behind her. "Oops. I should be more careful about that…"

**OoO**

"Pit, would you mind helping me out a bit over here?"

"Sure thing, princess!" The angel smiled happily as he quickly made his way down to the kitchen where he was summoned. He didn't know what Zelda wanted from him, but he felt that he didn't really mind. After all, who would turn down a request from someone like her? She was one of the nicest smashers in the mansion! And Pit did love to be polite and courteous.

Not five minutes later, he arrived at his destination. "Yes, Zelda, what did you ne—" His voice abruptly cut off as he stared at the sight in front of him.

Zelda stood in front of the sink, arms crossed in front of her chest. A stern expression was upon her face, and she stared down at Link, who was sprawled out against the kitchen floor. A white liquid had splashed all over the Hylian and the walls of the kitchen, and one look at the empty bottle in Link's hand told Pit exactly what had happened.

"Link here had a little, ah… _accident_," Zelda groaned. "There was a note taped to the cookie jar saying that Falcon had tried taking what didn't belong to him last night. We all know that Link loves my cookies, so… naturally, he was very upset. He took the milk I told Wolf to finish off five months ago and threatened to shove it down Falcon's throat, but he slipped, and… this happened."

"I… see…" Pit made a face at the foul stench of the kitchen. Five months ago? That milk was _way_ past its expiration date… And now Zelda expected him to clean it up. "Um, Zelda… If I may ask, why did you call for me specifically? If you want this mess cleaned up thoroughly, you could have asked Nana, or if you just want the most of it gone as soon as possible, Sonic. I'm not really sure why I'm needed…"

"You're the only person I know who wouldn't actively complain about it all week," Zelda smiled. "I'm going to bring Link to the bathroom to get him washed up, and you can clean up his mess. I'm making a batch of muffins this time, and I'll give you three as reward for doing this."

Pit cheered up instantly. "Oh, yes! I'd love that!"

"I thought you would. Now let's go, Link. Let's not keep the bath waiting." Link made an unintelligible noise but allowed the brunette to pick him up off the floor and drag him away. Once Pit was sure they were gone, he put his hands on his hips and inspected the mess.

"Tsk, tsk… This really isn't good. And my nose is going to fall off," he pouted. "But I must do it! For the muffins!"

As he set about to start the tedious task he had been assigned, a certain blonde haired princess passed the kitchen entrance and poked her head inside to investigate the source of the foul smell. "Pit? … Why is there milk all over the place?"

The angel groaned, "Blame Link. It's all his fault… Sorry about this mess, Peach. I know you had plans to use the kitchen after Zelda, but I'm afraid that's going to have to wait."

"It's alright," Peach smiled. "Mario invited me to a tea party this afternoon anyway, and I'm fine with being able to stay a little longer. Are you sure you don't need any help, though?"

"Nah, I got this!" He gave her a reassuring smile and a thumbs up. She nodded at him and turned to leave, but a blue spot on her dress caught Pit's eye and he called out to her before she was gone. "Hey, um, Peach. What's that on the back of your dress?"

"Huh?" Absentmindedly she swatted behind herself at her dress, feeling nothing but the smooth fabric of the outfit and air. Eventually, however, her hand did catch on something and she yelped, jumping backwards. She lifted her arm to see a blue Pikmin clinging onto her glove, dangling in the air.

Pit frowned. "What a perverted Pikmin."

While the angel tsked and shook his head over the questionable morals of the plant creature, Peach internally panicked. _Oh, no! The only time this Pikmin could have latched onto me was this morning when I was dropping Falcon off… Can Olimar actually talk to the Pikmin? Can he understand them? Oh, I hope not… Then he'd know my secret, and I can't let that happen!_

Furrowing her eyebrows, her other hand lashed out and grabbed the poor creature before it could even squeak and shoved it down the front of her dress. Pit stared at her. Peach stared back.

"Not a word of this to anyone," and she quickly ran off, pink heels clicking along the floor.

Briefly the angel wondered if the milk could wait – his curiosity was peaked and he really wanted to know what was with the blonde princess – but ultimately decided that Zelda would have his head if he left the spill unattended. Sighing, he shook his head. He'd ask her later.

* * *

Samus Aran leaned back in her chair, propping her legs up onto the table. No matter how many times Meta Knight told her it was bad manners to do so, she would continue to do it anyway. They all lived together, and thus they would just have to get used to her lifestyle. It wasn't very often that she was able to kick back and relax, being a bounty hunter and all.

She opened her magazine and smiled softly. Moments like these, where she was able to be alone without anyone (namely Captain Falcon and/or Snake) bothering her, were her favorite. All to herself, without another care in the world… such was the best and most preferable lifestyle.

As soon as she heard frantic tapping on the wooden door, however, Samus knew her peace was not to last. She groaned and rolled her legs off the table, setting the magazine off to the side. It wasn't as if she could just ignore the rampant knocking and carry on with her business as usual; her secluded area was not a secret to anyone. Most smashers were just simply too afraid of her to interrupt.

"Who is it?" She called out as soon as she made it to the door. Her hand lay on the doorknob; if she liked the person enough, maybe she would consider letting them inside.

"Samus, I need your help," came the muffled voice of Princess Peach. The space hunter raised an eyebrow and unlocked the door, allowing the blonde ruler inside. Peach nodded gratefully and walked in, hands clutching at her chest as she did so.

Samus was mildly interested. "Is there any particular reason you're holding your chest, Peach? Or is that part of your problem?"

"Well, you see—" before the princess could explain, the blue Pikmin popped out, practically gasping for air. Peach's face heated up, and Samus' expression remained deadpan.

"You seem to have a Pikmin lodged between your breasts, Peach."

"You think I don't know that?" The other blonde hissed. "I'm trying to get rid of it."

Samus wasted no time in responding. "You could always kill it. Want me to do it for you? I do it all the time in my matches against Olimar."

"No, that is a horrible thing to do!" Peach pouted. "I don't want to kill it, but I don't want it going back to Olimar either. You see, Samus, this Pikmin… it knows too much. I'm afraid it'll somehow, magically, transfer what it knows to Olimar's antenna or something and then he'll know what this Pikmin knows. And that would be bad! I don't want Olimar knowing what this Pikmin knows!"

"Well, what does it know?"

"I can't tell you that, because if I _do_ end up killing the Pikmin, I'd have to kill you too."

"Haha. That was funny."

"That wasn't a joke."

"I know."

They stared at each other in mutual silence for a few moments. Peach was running ideas through her head over what to do about the plant creature while Samus was merely thinking of ways to get the pink princess out of her secret room so she could go back to reading in peace. Suddenly, however, something clicked in the bounty hunter's mind, and she spoke her thoughts aloud.

"Wait. So say this Pikmin does manage to transfer the information it knows to Olimar. Does that mean you'll have to kill him too?"

"Samus—"

"And if Olimar tells someone, then you'd have to kill them as well. And then soon you'd have to kill everyone."

"I am not going to kill anyone!"

"But you said it's a possibility."

"I don't even know why I considered asking you of all people to help."

"Because I am the only person worth asking," Samus replied, and held her chin in her hand in contemplation. "Hm. If you don't want to kill it, keeping it seems to be out of the equation as well since you don't want Olimar to know you have it, right?"

"Right." Peach bit her lip. _This thing is giving me so much trouble! _"I know he's going to go around asking for it eventually, because Master Hand only allows him to have six Pikmin out at a time. He only has five with him right now, and he'll know it isn't dead because he won't be able to pull out another! And eventually he'll trace it to me, and… Samus, you have to help me."

Samus sighed. All she wanted to do was read… "Okay, Peach. Listen. Who do you hate the most right now?"

"Hate? I don't really hate anyone…"

"Do you happen to be angry at anyone right now? Maybe someone screwed you over in a brawl or something. It can be anyone. Except Olimar, of course. My plan won't work if he's the one you want to frame."

Peach blinked. "Frame? We're framing people now?"

"It's either them or you," Samus shrugged. "Now choose someone. As long as it isn't Olimar or me."

"Well, then…" The pink princess sighed. "How about Snake? No reason in particular, but I don't talk to him much, so I guess I'd be the last person he'd suspect…"

Before she could stop herself, Samus felt a large grin form on her face. "That's… actually pretty perfect, Peach. I've been meaning to get rid of him for a while now." Peach decided that she didn't quite like the expression the other blonde was currently wearing. "Here's what you have to do…"

**OoO**

Captain Olimar frowned, sitting up in his bed. He had spent the entire day looking for a missing Pikmin, only for his search to come up fruitless. As it stood, the thing was _still_ missing and he hadn't a single clue on where it could possibly even be.

It most definitely was not the best day ever for the Hocotatian.

First he had been rudely awoken by his roommate practically molesting him on his own bed, and it took the small space captain _hours_ just to get the other man off. Sometimes he really hated being the smallest smasher in the mansion, even moreso than the shortest Pokémon.

Then, after he had noticed the missing Pikmin and started looking for it, he had decided to take a little break from his search. He walked straight into the kitchen only to slip and nearly crack his helmet open on a ton of spilled milk. A disgruntled Pit nearly tossed him out (an easy feat, comparing the sheer size of both Olimar and the angel) and he was told not to come back for the rest of the day… which he spent looking for the blue Pikmin.

"It's such a hassle keeping everyone in check," Olimar sighed to himself, ignoring the deafening snores coming from his roommate's bed. The space captain himself couldn't sleep, so he decided he'd stay awake in case the blue Pikmin decided to come back… _Unlikely_, he thought.

Disgruntled, annoyed, and in a fully-fledged state of insomnia, Captain Olimar dropped down from his bed and silently decided to continue his search for the missing Pikmin. Carefully he walked around Falcon's bed in case the much larger male decided to spontaneously roll on him from the bed, and made his way out the door. Olimar decided he didn't need to bring any of the five Pikmin he still had; he could do it on his own.

_Tap, tap, tap…_

His pointed ears twitched at the sounds coming from the kitchen below. With a soft frown set on his face, he descended the large staircase (which for him was almost a treacherous task, going up and down the flights of steps every single day and was almost life-threatening). Finally, after a few minutes, he had made it to the bottom, and he quickly ran towards the source of the noise.

The light at the tip of his helmet would have been a surefire giveaway to his appearance and position in the darkness, but luckily for him the kitchen light was on. Whoever was inside was busy cooking something apparently, as he heard the clacks and scratches of metal and wood. Cautiously he peered his head around the corner, and nearly fell over at what he saw.

Someone, he couldn't tell who, was busy chopping something on the wooden cutting board. The outlandish outfit was practically insane, but was revealing enough to show the telltale slim and feminine figure of the mystery person. A white hood cloaked the back of their head, and he couldn't quite tell who it was…

And then suddenly, an all too familiar cry reached his ears, and he panicked.

"_Hey_!"

The mystery person immediately dropped the knife and swiveled around to face him, hood falling backwards as she did so. Soft pink hair and baby blue eyes were revealed in the kitchen light, and Olimar's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"… Princess Peach?"

Peach frowned. _Shit._ "No! I know not of whom you speak!" She crossed her arms and turned to the side. _He doesn't know me, he doesn't know me, he doesn't know me!_

"That is… an interesting outfit you're wearing, princess," Olimar said awkwardly, not buying the magical girl's reaction at all. "If you don't mind, what were you doing with my Pikmin?" There was no way he wouldn't be able to pinpoint the source of that familiar screech.

"I was…" _Lie, lie, lie! Make something up, or he'll be mad at you forever! _"I really don't know what you're talking about, Olimar." _Smooth._

She wasn't trying to pretend to be someone else, though, so perhaps that was a start. But as if things couldn't get any worse for the poor magical girl, a familiar angel poked his head inside, curious at all the commotion.

"Hey, Peach! Olimar! What are you two—" His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the princess. "Whoa."

"Go away!" Peach hissed and grabbed the wooden cutting board, ready to fling it at the nosy angel. Pit raised his hands and slowly backed away, not wanting to provoke the woman any more than he already had. _What did I even do?_ He thought pitifully to himself.

Olimar tilted his head to the side as he noticed an azure ghostly wisp of a being he was once familiar with rise to the bottom of the cabinets before it vanished into nothing, leaving not a single trace behind. "… Peach. Did you just kill my Pikmin?"

Peach frowned. "… I was trying to make it into a cupcake for Snake to eat… it wasn't supposed to die until he ate it." _Even though I didn't want to kill it, technically it would be _Snake_ who did it in in the end, not me… _But even she knew that was hopeless wishing.

"Okay, forget the Pikmin, what the heck are you wearing?" Pit stopped himself from using an alternate word; an angel should never say such things, after all. "And why?"

The princess stared at the two males, unsure of what she should do. She really didn't want to reveal her secret (especially after working all day to avoid getting caught by Olimar, damn it!), but… "Alright, if you must know… I am a magical girl." She held her breath.

There was a moment of silence before Pit spoke up once more, "like in one of Marth's animes?"

"Yes. Exactly."

"So what do you even do?"

"I go around and prevent people from breaking the rules, that's what!" Peach smiled triumphantly, pointing her staff towards the both of them. "It was I who stopped Captain Falcon from raiding Zelda's jar of cookies last night; if it weren't for me, we would have had a cookie crisis today!"

"… So you're the reason I had to clean up that giant mess," Pit groaned. "If you hadn't left that note, Link wouldn't have grabbed the milk and spilled it everywhere…"

"… Did you throw Falcon on top of me last night?" Olimar asked. His hand moved to scratch his head, but it only connected with cold glass.

"Yes and yes," Peach grinned. "That was all me. You're welcome. But now that both of you know my secret and who I am… I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill the two of you. Damn it, I hate it when Samus predicts things like this."

Pit backed up even further, hands raised. "Whoa, isn't that a bit rash? We promise we won't te—well, _I _promise _I_ won't tell, I don't know about Olimar—but you can spare me!"

"Hey!" Olimar frowned.

"I actually trust Olimar more than you, Pit," the magical girl shook her head. "But anyway! There is nothing you two can do! So just hold still while I think of places to hide your bodies."

"Wait, wait," Olimar sighed. "Isn't there some way we can compromise? You aren't really going to hurt us… right?"

Peach stared at him. "Silly, silly little Olimar. Of course I am."

"Oh, come on!" Pit groaned. "I'm sure we can come up with _some_ sort of agreement." In honesty, he wasn't really sure how Peach expected to kill them both – it was two smashers against one. An apparently magical one, but still. And one that was a veteran of the mansion, compared to his and the Hocotatian's newness… But he was sure he would still be able to take her on. At least, he hoped.

Peach stopped in her advances and stuck out her bottom lip. "Hm. Maybe… I got it. I'll let you two live if you can do something for me."

"Yeah, what is it?" Pit leaned it, eager. He was always such a sucker for doing favors.

Olimar groaned; this could not end well.

"You two are going to have to become my assistants. It's the only way, because then you'll have to hide this from everyone else, too. And yes, Olimar, this is a big deal! I can't have everyone knowing who I am and what I'm doing! I am the hero Smash Mansion needs, because we have people like Falcon living here!" Peach said passionately. "So, what do you say?"

Pit thought for a moment. "That actually doesn't sound too bad. I'm in!"

"What about you, Olimar?"

Olimar frowned. "And… what exactly will being assistants of yours entail?"

Peach blinked and processed his words in his mind for a moment. "Talk normally for once. And I guess having two assistants is better than going it alone, right? We'd get things done faster that way. And Olimar, this could benefit you too. You won't have to wake up to Falcon laying on top of you anymore."

The Hocotatian took a moment to think. "That would be nice, actually."

"So? What do you say?"

"I am still uncertain…"

Peach pursed her lips and her voice started to strain. "Make a contract with me."

"What?"

"Just do it! Or would you rather I kill you instead?"

Olimar sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll become your assistant."

"Yes," Peach did a victory pump. "Now I'll need to take today off to create outfits for you two. Aw, I can just imagine it now! It'd be the most adorable thing ever!"

Both males paled. "I really don't like the sound of that," Pit said.

"I concur…"

"It won't be that bad… You'll just become magical girls alongside me, hehe," Peach giggled. Pit and Olimar stole a glance at each other and shivered. "Well then, I guess it's off to bed since my plan went way out of hand," the magical girl yawned and sighed. "Good night, you two! We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow! Keep an eye out for anyone doing anything suspicious, and all will be peaceful."

"… Right, like me spending my morning cleaning up milk five months past its expiration date was peaceful," Pit muttered sarcastically.

"You bet it was!"

The angel shook his head and made his way out of the kitchen, finally going to bed in anticipation of what would await him the next day. Peach happily followed suit, content with not having to kill anyone. … That she remembered, anyway.

"… Hey," Olimar spoke, even though he was the only one left in the kitchen. "What about my Pikmin!?"

**OoO**

**A/N: I don't even know where I'm going with this story, but I guess… It'll go places, if I let it.**

**I hope you enjoyed it. C: (Hopefully I won't take as long to update and finish this as I did One Last Dance, heh…)**


	2. For Tension

"Alright, hold still. I have to get your measurements."

"Hey, no – stop – go away!"

"Stop struggling! You're only making this harder on yourself!"

"I never agreed to this!"

"Quite the contrary, Olimar, I seem to recall you saying you'd prefer doing this than being killed."

"Well, ah… that is true, but… _why_ do I have to _wear_ this?"

"Stop complaining; Pit got an outfit too."

"Is it anything nearly as humiliating as this?"

"Depends on how you see it. Really though, none of our outfits match with each other. I just went along with whatever would look cute on us," the princess giggled. "So we each have our own color schemes. I'm purple, of course, Pit is black, and you're red."

"How original," Olimar remarked bitterly.

"Thank you, I'm glad you think so. Now hold still!"

The Hocotatian bit his lip and mumbled inaudible words to himself as he reluctantly allowed the princess' hands to roam over his body to calculate his measurements. He wasn't necessarily comfortable with being poked and prodded each second, but he supposed the sooner he cooperated, the sooner she would leave.

Peach hummed a little song to herself before breaking out in a fit of giggles. Olimar looked up at her. "What is so funny?"

"You!" She replied bluntly. "You're so tiny; I don't really know how I'm actually going to go about doing this. But hey, since we're going to be working together from now on, this just means I'm going to have to try even harder, right?"

"Right," the space captain sighed.

Pit had taken that exact moment to pass by the open door to the princess' room, and stopped to do a double take. Peach practically had Olimar pressed against the side of her own bed to prevent the small male from running away, and the blonde had her hands in a flurry of wrapping measuring tape around her victim's body and writing down the appropriate numbers. "Hi Peach, hi Olimar!" He smiled happily, popping his head inside. They turned to look at him and he walked the rest of the way in, closing the door behind himself.

"Hello, Pit!" Peach responded just as cheerfully, and finally pulled back from Olimar, much to the Hocotatian's relief. "I have an idea on what I want Ollie's outfit to be—"

"_Ollie?_" Olimar asked incredulously, but he was ignored.

"—and I think it'll be really cute! We should have a team name, for all three of us. Hrm… the Cute Brigade! Or… the Twinkle Trio!" She looked expectantly at Pit, silently asking the angel for his opinion.

He blinked. "Oh, well… uh… Maybe we should come up with a name for us later, heh." He shrugged, not really liking any of the names Peach had come up with. Surely, he could have piped in with an idea of his own, but… he couldn't think of anything that didn't sound cheesy. Perhaps if he let the issue die, Peach would forget about it and they could go on being nameless.

The blonde pouted, but relented. "Fine. What about nicknames, then?"

"Nicknames?" Olimar adjusted his glass helmet that had become partially loose during his struggle with the princess. "What do you mean?"

"We can't exactly go around calling each other 'Peach', 'Ollie', and 'Pit', can we?" Peach made a face as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "These are supposed to be our secret identities! Where's the secret in saying our real names willy-nilly?"

Pit made a humming noise, and tapped his own chin thoughtfully. "Hey, yeah. I'm actually okay with that. What would you like to be called, Peach?"

"Maybe… Oujo-hime?" The two males stared at her and tilted their heads. "Basically, 'oujo' means 'princess' in Japanese, and 'hime' is a suffix that means something like me being of a noble family or birth." She smiled. "Marth taught me that! He's fluent in Japanese, so I guess that's why he's the only one who ever bothers watching those weird anime. He can actually understand what's going on in them."

"Would that really work?" Pit slumped against the wall and slid down to a sitting position. "I mean, if Marth is the one who taught it to you, wouldn't he be able to figure you out pretty quickly?"

The princess scoffed, "I doubt it. I haven't once seen Marth on any of my nightly patrols, so he's probably all cooped up in his room the entire time watching things with Ike. I think it should work, and I like it."

"As long as you like it, we really aren't ones to argue," Olimar smiled softly. "So if we really are going to refer to Peach's… 'magical girl' form as 'Oujo-hime', what are we going to be called?"

"Maybe something related to our color schemes?" Pit wondered aloud. "Like, since mine is apparently black, I can be… 'Kuro', or something similar. And Olimar, you can be 'Aka', since you're red."

Olimar leaned his head backwards, bumping the back of his helmet onto the side of the soft bed. "Eh… I am not really sure if I like it or not."

"We can always just call you Ollie," Peach giggled. "Though that may be too obvious, since that's all I'm going to call you from now on."

"Why?"

"Because it's cute!" Olimar sighed; there was just no arguing with the princess when she was set on something.

Pit, however, was still thinking, taking Olimar's opinion to heart. "Okay, maybe we don't have to follow Peach's Japanese theme, then. Or at least, not about our colors. I can be… I'm not really as fluent in Japanese as Marth is…"

"Tenshi!" Peach exclaimed suddenly, causing both males to jump. "You can be Tenshi, Pit!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means 'angel.' Fitting, right?"

The brown haired angel smiled. "Hey, yeah. I kind of like that. So from now on, I am Tenshi!" He raised his fist triumphantly in the air, and Peach quickly swatted it down. "Oh, sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that so loudly."

Peach nodded, and turned to Olimar. "Now there's just the matter of you." A wicked grin split along her face, and the Hocotatian paled. Whatever she had in mind for him was most definitely _not_ good. She opened her mouth to speak, and then… "You can be Chibi."

He didn't wait for her to explain what the word meant. "No."

Pit was quick to jump to the princess' defense however, much to Olimar's chagrin. "But it fits! 'Chibi' means 'small person', and you're pretty small, so…"

"As I am reminded _every single day_ by you people," Olimar sighed. "Must I _really_ adopt that name?"

"Alright, then," Peach frowned. "What _do_ you want to be called, Ollie?"

"Not Ollie," the Hocotatian responded in disdain. "I don't… I don't know, honestly. But preferably something that isn't a shortened version of my given name or something else completely that mocks my height. Please."

Pit laughed. "Okay, we'll stop that; it is kind of mean. Right, Peach?"

"I agree to nothing."

Their conversation was interrupted by a rapt knocking on the door, startling Pit. The angel's wings ruffled as he fell almost backwards in an awkward heap, and he let out a short laugh before picking himself up and grabbing the doorknob to allow the visitor inside.

Lucas stood at the doorway, fiddling with his hands and intertwining his fingers together. He looked up nervously and when he spoke, his voice shook. "Um, P-Peach… There's something you may w-want to know…"

Peach stood up and straightened out the folds and wrinkles in her dress before leaning down to the boy's height. "What is it, Lucas?" Her voice had immediately taken on a soft tone, something that seemed to happen only when she conversed with the younger smashers. Everyone else had to deal with her much bolder, high pitched vocals.

"U-Um," he muttered, looking down at his feet. Pit and Olimar leaned in closer, curious to what he had to say. "Fox and Falco were kind of making a mess of things in the dining room again… They were having another one of their really competitive eating contests."

"Oh, joy," Pit muttered sarcastically. "Let me guess, Master Hand wants us to clean up after them?"

"Not exactly…" Lucas rolled his head and looked off to the side. "Ness and Popo went in to kind of try and break it up, but they wouldn't stop. Popo then thought that _jumping_ on them may be a good idea, and… it wasn't. Falco started to yell and threw him off, and he hit the wall. One of the paintings of Master Hand came off and hit him in the head, and so Nana escorted him to Doctor Mario since he wouldn't stop worrying about having a concussion."

The angel snorted. Peach lightly tapped his head with the back of her hand and he immediately stopped, looking sober once more.

Lucas continued, "So obviously Ness wasn't really happy about his friend getting hurt, and so… He's planning on getting his revenge on Fox and Falco tonight. I don't really know what he's going to do, but he already went out to buy things from Smashville, and I heard him saying something about buying a bag of smart bombs."

Peach gasped. "That'll blow up the entire mansion! Is he _insane_?!" She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. Child smasher or not, she would not allow any harm to befall the residents of the manor! … Well, it was already too late for Popo, but she wouldn't allow any harm to fall upon anyone she could actually prevent!

Olimar gulped. He had a feeling he knew _exactly_ what Peach planned to do to rectify this situation.

Pit, on the other hand, started to look excited. "We're gonna accompany Peach tonight to save the day, right?" He whispered. "Oh, this is going to be great! I can't wait!"

"Are you insane?" Olimar whispered back. "I thought you were against this entire idea?"

"Not really anymore," Pit shrugged. "Besides, Peach drew me her vision for my sidekick outfit, and I think it'll look great on me! I don't get a really cool mask like she does, but I guess it's alright. Maybe I'll be able to attract Link's fangirls…" He trailed off, and his eyes started to glaze over. "Ah, that'd be really nice."

"What are you talking about? You're already insanely popular outside of the mansion," Olimar whispered to him, but Pit didn't seem to hear anything from that moment on, too wrapped up in his own fantasy.

Peach, meanwhile, had started to console Lucas while Pit was off in Dreamland and Olimar in a state of mental agony. "Don't worry, Lucas! Just leave this to me, and I'll take care of it! I promise not a single person will get hurt!"

"Thanks, Peach," Lucas smiled softly up at her.

"There's something I want to know, though," Peach hummed, holding a finger to her chin. "Why did you come to me and not Master Hand? Surely he'd be the best person to stop a fight, right?" _Not that I'm complaining, hehe!_

The blond boy shook. "O-Oh, well, um… Ness isn't really afraid of Master Hand, really. I came to you because he looks up to you, and if anyone can talk him out of doing this, it's you, Peach."

She looked down, eyes widening in surprise. "… Oh. Well… thank you for telling me, Lucas. You can go and check up on Popo now, I have some things to take care of first, and then I'll deal with Ness." Lucas nodded and turned to leave. Once he was out of sight, the princess slammed the door shut and turned to the remaining males left in her room, staring straight down at them.

"Pit, wake up." Olimar pinched Pit's arm and the angel yelped, snatching his offended limb away. He was going to say something condescending to the Hocotatian, but Peach's aura finally seemed to reach him and he noticed what was happening. He turned to look up at her and audibly gulped upon seeing the look on her face.

"Boys," the princess announced just loud enough to force them into taking her seriously, "We have our first mission together."

**OoO**

"Ness, please," Lucas pleaded with his friend, anxiously tugging on the sleeve of his shirt, "This is crazy. You know Fox and Falco aren't going to stop, right?"

Ness stopped rummaging through his bag of supplies and turned to frown at the blond boy. "They hurt Popo, Lucas! I can't just let them get away with that. I have to let them know that I'm not going to tolerate things like that, and this is the only way it'll get through their thick heads. Now go bother Toon Link or something, I have to get this perfect."

"Yeah, it won't get through to them because they and everyone else will be _dead_," Toon Link sighed from behind the two, shaking his head in disapproval. "You're becoming a terrorist, Ness."

"I'm not a terrorist!" Ness snapped in response, zipping up the duffle bag and hoisting it onto his bed. "I promise I won't blow up the mansion. I'm not even planning on blowing _them_ up. You'll see why I bought all of these later."

"I really don't want to know," Lucas shook his head and covered his face. His voice became muffled as he spoke through his hands, "You're going to get in _so_ much trouble…"

"And _that's_ where you're wrong, Lulu!" Ness spun around, pointing a finger in Lucas' face. Lucas squealed and backed away from the offending appendage while Toon Link merely snorted. "Do Fox and Falco get in trouble every time they make a mess of the dining hall? Does Snake get in trouble every time he hits on Samus, despite her not reciprocating his feelings? Does Kirby get in trouble even though he's the reason we have to go shopping for new food every other day? No? Then why should I be any different?"

_Because I already told on you_, Lucas thought to himself, but didn't dare say it aloud. Reckless or not, Ness was still his friend… and he didn't want to be ousted as a tattletale. He could only hope that Peach wouldn't announce exactly _who_ had dropped her in on Ness' plan; Lucas was only looking out for his and everyone else's safety.

Nana kicked the door to the boys' room open, dragging a flailing Popo behind her. "He's fine," she told them before they could ask, and threw her brother down on the floor as if to prove it. "He's just throwing a fit because he's a wimp who can't handle being bumped into the wall."

"I am _not_ a wimp!" Popo shouted, standing up and rubbing his head. "It really hurt, and I was really worried! What would have happened if I really _did_ have a concussion, but thought it wasn't serious and never got it checked? What if I died? What would you do then, huh?"

"I'd be glad I wouldn't have to deal with such an annoying brat of a brother," Nana smirked, crossing her arms. Popo frowned and kicked the floor.

"You're so mean sometimes, Nana."

"I know. So," she turned to the other three with a softer smile on her face. "What are you guys up to?"

Lucas fiddled with his fingers, but Toon Link beat him to the chase. "Ness is planning on blowing up the mansion."

"I am _not!_" Ness groaned, swatting the air in front of Toon Link's face. The blond frowned and sidestepped out of the way of the wimpy attack. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going to kill or even hurt anyone. This is just to show Fox and Falco that I mean business, and that they'd better watch what they're doing more carefully next time."

"But I'm alright," Popo blinked. "It's alright, Ness."

The room fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence as Ness dealt with the thoughts and emotions rolling through his head. After a minute, however, the boy looked up with an expression set in stone. "Nope. I'm still doing this."

"_Why?!_" Lucas was nearly hysterical.

"To make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else, of course!" Ness beat his chest with a proud smirk on his face. "You'll thank me later for this, Lulu."

"This is completely unnecessary," Nana sighed, shaking her head. "But whatever. Do what you want to do as long as I'm not involved." She grabbed Popo's hand and prepared to lead him out of the room.

"You're really okay with letting him do this?" Lucas asked her before she could leave. The Ice Climber stopped to give him an innocent look.

"Why are you so worried about this, Lucas? If Ness says he won't hurt anyone, then he won't hurt anyone. He's above all that. You trust him, don't you?"

"Of course I trust him…" Lucas' face turned a light shade of pink from the embarrassment he was putting himself under. "I just don't want to take any chances…"

Ness looked at his friend before wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder. "Hey," he said, and Lucas looked up at him, "Don't worry, alright? If I get myself hurt in some stupid way, then you can go ahead and say you told me so. But if it works out alright, then that's that and I promise I'll return the bombs I don't use. Fox and Falco will learn their lesson, and everything will go back to normal."

Toon Link started to clap. "Beautiful. Continue on with your lessons of friendship and trust, please. This is so motivating; I think I may cry."

Ness threw a pillow at his face. "Jerk," but he didn't stop smiling.

Nothing they could say quelled Lucas' worry, however. _At least I know that Peach is on my side,_ he thought. _I know she'll do something about this before it's too late…_

**OoO**

Red hummed a little tune to himself as he walked down the hallway followed by his three trusty Pokémon. They were domesticated well enough, and knew more than most other household pets to take care of themselves. Not that he would ever consider them as actual _pets_, though – they were his friends, and thus he went everywhere with them. Sealing them inside of Poke balls was almost incarcerating his own life partners, and he would never do so unless participating in a brawl, which they were all fine with.

They had been eating a snack down at the kitchen in preparation for such a brawl, actually. Red felt that whenever he was getting ready to fight, his stomach would always start to rumble with hunger. It was pretty odd, but he never thought twice about it and simply made himself popcorn or something similar to settle with. His Pokémon were more than happy with the deal, as they also got food out of it.

He was on his way to the transportation room where he would meet up with Sonic, his opponent. _Sonic's pretty quick, but his speed is nerfed within the battle chamber, _he thought to himself. _Squirtle, while definitely slower, can still keep up with him well enough to make this not be such a curb-stomp battle. I just have to make sure he doesn't take so many hits and end it quickly, because if I have to switch to Ivysaur or Charizard, I'm a goner._

He strategized silently to himself as he continued to walk, not paying attention to what was going on in front of him. Suddenly, he smacked into someone and tripped forward over them, landing face down on the floor. "Holy crap," he muttered to himself, holding his head as his vision swam. His Pokémon were immediately by his side, readying him back up onto his feet.

Red looked down at who he tripped over and tilted his head. "Ness? What are you doing? Isn't that bag a bit heavy for you?"

"Huh?" Ness put the bag down and turned to face the Pokémon trainer. He had been holding the bag above his head, and while he felt a certain _thump_ while walking forward, he didn't realize that someone had actually tripped over him. His heart thudded within his chest as he realized the potential disaster that could have occurred right then; what if the bombs had went off? "Oh, um… Red. Hi." Smooth.

Red smiled, now back on his feet and standing up straight. "What do you have there?"

"Oh, uh… it's nothing, really," he lied through his teeth. "I'm supposed to give these to… Jigglypuff. It has some of her items in there that I borrowed when making a comedy skit with Lucas that one time." He had no idea what he was talking about, of course, but he hoped it was believable.

Red seemed to buy it. "Right…" Well, he sounded a bit skeptical, but at least he didn't seem to plan on asking the younger smasher to elaborate. "Do you need help carrying that? I've got some time before my match with Sonic."

"_No!_" The Pokémon trainer's eyes widened and he took a tentative step back. "I mean, uh… No thank you. I've got this. Jigglypuff will kind of freak out if she sees anyone else with these, since she only planned on me and Lucas using them." He added a fake laugh at the end for added effect.

Red seemed less convinced than before, but luckily enough he still decided to let it slide. "Well, if you say so. Good luck getting down the stairs with that, at any rate." Suddenly, his eyes brightened and he started to smile. "Hey, once you're done with that, want to come and spectate me kicking Sonic's butt?"

"Sure, I'd love to," Ness smiled back. _I really would like to, but unfortunately there won't be any time for that. Sorry Red, but you'll thank me for this later! _He knelt over to pick up the bag and continued on his way. "See you later!"

"Bye!" Red waved him goodbye, and looked down at Ivysaur rubbing its head on his leg. "Ness is sure a weird kid, isn't he? Well!" He spun on his heel into the direction he had originally been walking in. "It's time for our match! Knowing who our opponent is, he probably got there five minutes early anyway. I hope Sonic hasn't been waiting for long!"

**OoO**

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, now hush and put it on."

"It's… kind of big. I fear it'll fall halfway through. And Peach, it's still _daylight_. I thought you only did this at night?"

"I don't know when Ness plans on initiating his plan, so we have to be prepared either way! Besides, danger doesn't rest!"

Pit ignored his companions' conversation and instead focused on looking at himself through the mirror, pleased with the outfit Peach had created for him. He had to admire how quick she was with her hands; he had been measured at the crack of dawn, and not twelve hours later, his new outfit was complete!

There was absolutely no way to hide his wings, so they were let free through two separate slits on the back of his black sweater. A thin red ribbon had been tied around his neck, probably as some sort of compliment to Peach's purple brooch, and he wore a crisp and clean white shirt tucked into his dark shorts. He didn't really understand the princess' reasoning for not wearing pants (he laughed aloud when he saw Olimar's outfit design for the first time; the Hocotatian would _never_ live that down), but he was used to it anyway and thus didn't particularly mind.

Complimented with thick white socks and fancy, shiny black dress shoes, Pit felt… spiffy, for lack of a better word. It wasn't the best identity hiding outfit ever (why couldn't he wear a mask? His face and wings would surely give him away, wouldn't they?), but he still quite liked it. It was comfortable, easy to move in, and it was designed by _Peach_, so it was guaranteed good from the start.

Olimar probably wasn't so lucky.

"Take off that backpack thing, you can't wear this with that on," Peach _tsked_, holding up the Hocotatian's outfit (that he _still_ hadn't even attempted to wear).

Olimar frowned. "I'm sorry, princess, but do you want me to _die?_ This is my life support system; I can't breathe without it."

"That sounds like a personal problem," Pit laughed from afar, and he didn't notice the annoyed look Olimar shot him.

Peach sighed. "But what's the point of a customized outfit if you can't even wear it?"

"You probably should have thought of that first," the angel called, and the princess turned to frown at him. "What?"

"You aren't helping, Pit! Think of a way for Olimar to put this on."

_I don't even want to wear it…_ Olimar thought pitifully to himself, but he knew a determined Peach would eventually find a way. The magical girl herself was already set in her… well, magical girl outfit, and thus the shortest male in the mansion was the only one of the trio not dressed. Even the Pikmin themselves donned a small ribbon tied to the stem on their heads.

"Well… Master Hand's kind of in charge of these kind of things, right?" Pit asked after a moment of thinking. "I mean, he made Yoshi, Mr. Game and Watch, and R.O.B. understandable, right? He only left the Pokémon as they were because of privacy amongst themselves or something like that. Maybe he could make it so that Olimar can breathe oxygen, too."

"Can he really do that?" Peach blinked.

"I'd say it's worth a shot."

Olimar merely kept his mouth shut; nothing he could say would sway their decisions, and he knew it. _How did I even let myself get into this…? Oh yeah, I was looking for the blue Pikmin. Which died anyway_, he thought grimly.

The magical girl stood up straight and pumped her fist in the air. "Very well! Let's go give Master Hand a little visit!"

"Wait, while you're wearing that?" Olimar asked. Peach and Pit looked down at themselves in their superhero getup.

"… Good point," Peach said. "Very well! I shall change back into my civilian clothes!" She raised her pink staff up high, and not a moment later a bright light filled the room. Pit and Olimar covered their eyes, both nearly blinded by the sudden intensity. Peach herself disappeared somewhere beneath the intense glow, but a rainbow gradient covered the span of her body, and her magical girl clothes shifted and morphed into different shapes.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the light died down. Peach hadn't moved a centimeter, yet she was in her regular pink dress. Olimar and Pit uncovered and opened their eyes now that it was safe to do so, and gawked at the sudden transformation. The tall staff had shrunken to a much smaller and portable form, and it rested lightly in her right hand.

"… How do you do that?" Pit asked incredulously.

"I told you," Peach teased with a smile, "I'm a magical girl! I can do anything!" She twirled and giggled. The two males looked at each other oddly. "Now Pit, I'm going to bring Olimar to Master Hand. You go around and start looking for Ness. Don't do anything until we get back though, okay?" She thrust the smaller staff into Pit's arms, and he took it clumsily. "Hold onto my staff; as long as you're touching it, no one will be able to recognize you." Upon his skeptical look, she added, "Trust me, okay? I'll come up with a more permanent solution to hiding your identity when I get back."

Without warning, she picked up Olimar, eliciting a cry from the Hocotatian, and carried him like a football to the door. "Godspeed, Pit!" And not a moment later, the two were gone.

Pit stared at the space where the two just were, and shook his head. There was no time to dwell on trivial matters he would never understand the answers to! Now was the time for _action_!

A red Pikmin pulled on his sock, and he looked down at the plant creature in curiosity. "What's that? You want to help too?" He didn't understand their language, of course, and was pleasantly surprised when it determinedly nodded yes. "Great! Come on then, let's go!"

**OoO**

Ness had finally reached his destination after what to him seemed like forever. In reality, however, he figured it probably didn't take nearly as long as he thought it did. He gently lowered the duffle bag to the ground and took a moment to rest.

He was in the technician's room, where all matters pertaining to matches and brawls took place. There were many screens everywhere depicting what was going on in each stage, and to his knowledge, Falco should be arriving at Luigi's Mansion in just a few minutes. It wasn't as if he had to stalk the bird for this information; he had practically been boasting about kicking Marth, Bowser, and Link's asses for weeks on end.

"Those three probably won't be happy with me for this," Ness muttered to himself, "But sacrifices must be made for the better good! And it won't be as if they'll ever know it was me, anyway. Falco is the one I want." And by extension, his threat would carry over to Fox as well.

Not once did it occur to him that perhaps he was taking the whole revenge scheme entirely out of hand. What Falco did was an accident, but Ness wouldn't hear anything from him. Even an apology wouldn't appease him now; he was too far into his plan to back off.

"This is for you, Popo," the boy whispered as one by one, he started teleporting the smart bombs into the arena where Falco's battle was to take place. He shook his head; did his friends really believe he was dumb enough to use them on the bird _outside_ of battle? The smash arenas were specifically designed and created so that whoever was inside would take minimal damage, prolonging the matches as long as possible. No matter how bad the injuries they received in there were, they would always be fine coming back out. Falco would just be shaken up at most.

He was in the process of teleporting in his twelfth bomb when he heard the noise of someone making their way inside. _Oh, crap_! He thought worriedly and quickly hid between two machines he didn't know the functions for. All he knew were the monitors, the teleportation machine, and what some of the buttons on the main computer did; it was all he ever needed to know, anyway.

"Do you see him?" He heard a familiar voice ask someone. A high pitched squeak answered the mystery person, and they stepped closer to his hiding place. Ness wanted to peek his head out and see who it was, but… he couldn't! Curiosity killed the cat, and he did not want to be found out!

They stopped right next to the duffle bag full of smart bombs. Ness held his breath just in case. "Well, what do we have here," the mystery person sighed. "Looks like we're too late. But since there's still all these bombs inside of this bag, that means he didn't finish." He looked around. "He's somewhere in this room still, hiding from us."

Ness' eyes widened. Did they already know it was him? But how? He didn't tell anyone his plan! The only people who even know something was up were Toon Link, Nana, Popo, and Lucas! Did one of them… tell on him? Or maybe it was Red, who figured he wasn't really going to see Jigglypuff and told Master Hand about it? Shit, what was he going to do now?

Beady little eyes suddenly popped up in front of him, and he almost let out a noise in fright. It was a red creature with a flowering bud on resting on the stem atop its head… a Pikmin? Was Olimar the one looking for him? But the voice sounded nothing like Olimar…

Suddenly the plant squeaked and pointed at him. Ness panicked and kicked the poor creature away as far as he could, into the mystery person. "Whoa! What's up?" The Pikmin frowned (as best as it could for a creature without much of a face, anyway), and pointed to where Ness was hiding. _Oh, please no… I'm so close!_

The mystery person didn't say a word, but walked closer to the hiding place. And then suddenly, without warning, he lashed out a hand to grab Ness by his shirt and hoist him up, pinning him to the wall. "Ow!" Ness groaned in pain, and opened his eyes. "Who the heck are you? What do you want with me?"

Pit smiled; Ness really didn't recognize him! He had doubted Peach's staff for a moment, but it actually worked! He really wanted to know how it could even do something like that… he gripped the weapon tighter.

_Come to think of it, how did Peach become a magical girl in the first place? This whole thing suddenly came out of nowhere…_

He blinked, the thought suddenly popping into his mind. After a moment of considering it, he shook his head. He'd ask the girl herself later. Right now, he had a troublesome child to give a stern talking to! "My name is Tenshi," he said, testing the name out loud. Ness continued to stare at him with wide eyes, so he continued.

"Ness," Pit declared boldly. A strange feeling welled up in his chest, and he felt almost giddy. Perhaps some of Peach's bubbliness was starting to rub off on him… "You were planning on sabotaging Falco Lombardi's match with Marth Lowell, King Bowser, and Link of Hyrule, weren't you?"

"No," the boy lied and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about! I came in here because the door was open, and I really wanted to check this place out! The door is always locked, and curiosity just got the better of me."

_Somehow, I really doubt that_, Pit thought dully. _Quick liar, though. Not the most believable, but the fact that he didn't once stutter is something to be admired. Huh. Anyway!_

"That is a lie," he gripped Ness' shirt even tighter, and the boy whimpered. Pit loosened his hold just a little; he didn't want to frighten the kid so much! "Please don't lie to me. I promise I won't punish you as severely if you simply tell me the truth." _At this rate, I won't even need Peach and Olimar to help me. I can do this all on my own!_

Ness shook his head, however. "I'm being honest, I swear... Why would I have any need to lie to a stranger? Someone I don't even know?"

_Keep telling yourself that, bud. _"What were you doing with the bombs, then?"

"What bombs?"

The red Pikmin made an angry sounding squeak and jumped up, trying to latch onto Ness' shoe. Neither male knew what the plant wanted, and so they continued their discussion without paying it much more mind.

"Do not lie to me," Pit said even more sternly. "I will turn you in to Master Hand if you continue to do so, and your punishment will be much more severe than if you just tell me why you're doing this. There is no need to drag this whole thing out. We could be done in just a few short minutes."

"That isn't how you interrogate someone!" A sudden feminine voice cried out, and Pit, Ness, and the Pikmin turned to see a new figure dressed in familiar (at least to Pit and the Pikmin) clothing similar to that of a sailor fuku. Her identity concealing mask was straight in place, and the angel had to admit that she looked rather intimidating with it on. Gripped in her left hand was a bag of… he wasn't sure what it was.

She marched forward and snatched Ness away from Pit's grip, pushing him to the wall herself. "Hello," she said sweetly. "Mind telling me what you were doing here with these bombs?"

"I told you, I don't know anything!" Ness started to sound rather panicked. "Who are you people?! I'm going to scream if you don't let me go, and then you'll get in trouble!"

"Not nearly in as much trouble as you for attempting to sabotage a match you have no part in," Peach narrowed her eyes. "Here's another question, though. Are you going to cooperate willingly, or am I going to have to force an answer by… well, force?"

Ness narrowed his eyes, trying to put on a brave front. "You couldn't force anything out of me if you tried."

"Oh, really?" Suddenly she grabbed her staff out of Pit's hands and moved to block Ness' view of the angel. She pressed the tip of the weapon to Ness' throat, and the child gulped. She wasn't really going to hurt him, of course, but Pit's nice guy approach would never work. It was time for something different. "Want to say that again?"

"O… okay," Ness shook. "I was going to sabotage Falco's match by placing a ton of smart bombs all over the area so no matter where he went, he would run into one and blow himself up with every step he took. I just wanted to get revenge on him for hurting my friend! Is that really so bad?"

"Falco didn't ruin Popo's match, did he? A smasher's win-loss ratio is _very_ important to them, and you know this. A single loss is such a huge blow to everyone's ego. Popo is fine, is he not? How about next time, you go up to Falco himself and tell him you want him to apologize to your friend. He may be a bit stubborn sometimes, but Fox would eventually convince him to do it."

"How do you know that?"

"I know people," she smiled. "Now when you wake up, I want you to apologize to Falco and convince Master Hand to postpone the match, at least until all of the bombs are cleared off the stage. Understand?" Before he could reply, she waved a white powder she had been conserving in front of his face, and he fell asleep almost instantly. The bag she had been holding fell to the floor, empty.

Pit blinked. "What was that?"

"Sleeping powder I got from Red once," Peach smiled, gently lowering Ness to the floor. "Sorry for stealing your thunder like that, but you weren't going to get anywhere. But you did find him in time, so good job for that!" She cheered happily.

"How do you know if Ness is going to listen to you?"

"Oh, he will. I think we frightened him enough today," she giggled, and Pit couldn't help but laugh a little himself as well. "And so the day is saved, thanks to… well, two thirds of the Twinkle Trio!"

"Yeah…" He still didn't really like that name. "Wait a minute. Two thirds… where's Olimar?"

"Here…" a voice muttered weakly from behind one of the machines, sounding utterly miserable. "I feel sick…"

"Master Hand was really curious as to why I was so insistent on him fixing Ollie," Peach shrugged. "Especially since Ollie was pretty fine with having his own private air to breathe. It took a bit of convincing, but I eventually got through to him. Now Ollie's just kind of… oxygen sick? I guess that's the word. He isn't used to it, so he'll be feeling pretty bad for a while. He can still breathe his own air, actually, but Master Hand suggested he stay without the helmet so he can get used to it quicker."

"Ah. Poor guy," Pit sighed. He did feel a bit sorry for Olimar, being forced into all of this… but hopefully he'd start to see the fun side of things soon enough.

Peach zipped up the duffle bag with the bombs inside and carried Ness carefully as she stood up. "I did manage to get Olimar into his outfit, though." She frowned. "He was right. It is a bit too big."

"Really?" Curiosity getting the better of him, Pit moved to where Olimar's weak voice drifted from. The Hocotatian himself sat in a heap, and his face was an odd shade of purple, but he looked fine otherwise. Peach had wrapped a red-orange scarf around his neck and had given him a matching long-sleeved shirt and lighter colored shorts. His shoes were almost identical to the angel's despite the different color, and (he imagined Peach did this just for added humiliation) he noticed the placement of the red ribbon. Peach herself had one on her chest, Pit had one wrapped around his neck, the Pikmin had them tied to their stems, and Olimar… had it tied around his left ear. "What's with the ribbon scheme?"

"I really like ribbons," Peach huffed. "They're cute."

"… Alright, I won't argue with that. So is it off to Master Hand now to drop off Ness?"

"Yep!" She smiled happily. "Then we can come back and help clear off the bombs. Lucas will be so happy to know we succeeded."

"Yeah, he will," Pit smiled. Quickly he deduced that Olimar wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so the angel took it upon himself to pick up the Hocotatian and carry him back to his room himself. "Hey, Peach?"

"Yeah?"

"… I think I'm starting to like this. It's kind of fun."

"I knew you'd see it my way!"

**OoO**

**A/N: And Olimar does nothing of importance in this chapter lol (He's **_**much**_** more involved next chapter, though. So there's that!)**

**Thank you for the reviews, alerts, and favorites so far! It's actually a lot of fun writing this, and I already have a couple of ideas on where I want this story to go. I'm going to try and incorporate all of the smashers in this story at some point (not all will get major roles, though, but I'll try to make them all even a little important).**

… **I guess I should mention that this isn't purely a crack story. It originally started out as one, but when I thought about it, I kind of want to lead this into something bigger. So each chapter is a continuation of the story; it isn't some silly oneshot collection where only the first chapter is set in stone (though I have nothing against those). And… I think that's all I want to say, really. If you have any ideas or suggestions (like which smasher should be the 'criminal' next or something…), feel free to tell me! I love hearing feedback from everyone.**

**Thank you for reading!**

**( Also, I'm going to draw some pictures of Peach, Pit, and Olimar in their respective outfits. I'll link to them on my profile once I finish writing and upload chapter three. C: )**


	3. For Humanity

**A/N: The drawings of the three main characters I mentioned last time are done, but…**

**Please read this chapter before checking out the drawings on my profile. Olimar's won't make any sense at all before reading this chapter.**

**Thanks!**

**OoO**

"So, Olimar, how are you feeling?"

Olimar looked up at Pit from beneath the covers of his blanket, frown set in place. The angel merely smiled. The Hocotatian hadn't said a word to him since before Peach dragged him off to Master Hand and when announcing his presence after stopping Ness, but Pit knew that he would crack eventually. Olimar by nature was definitely a sweet person, and he figured that the sudden events of the past two days had been overwhelming. Not everyone could adapt to new situations as quickly as Pit himself could, after all.

The smaller male simply wrapped himself up even further in the blankets and kept his mouth shut. Pit didn't know where Peach was, but he hoped she would pop in soon. If anyone could get Olimar talking again, whether willingly or by force, it was definitely the Mushroom Kingdom Princess.

"Come on… you can talk to me, right?" Just for fun, Pit poked Olimar's cheek. Now that the helmet was gone and out of the way, the angel figured that Olimar was put suddenly in a rather vulnerable position. He could only imagine how the little guy felt, but everyone in the mansion was friendly! Well, except for the villainous types, but even they knew when to leave others alone. And from what Pit saw, they never seemed to bother with Olimar very much anyway.

Olimar made a groaning noise and turned his head, idly slapping Pit's hand away. Pit's smile widened further and he reached out with both hands to pinch the Hocotatian's cheeks, much like a grandmother would do to a granddaughter or grandson. They were so squishy! Olimar had a rather offended look on his face and tried prying off the angel's fingers, but Pit held on.

"… Pit, what are you doing?"

The angel blinked and turned towards the door, where Peach stood with an astonished look. "Oh, hi Peach!" He finally let the poor Hocotatian go and swirled around to meet the blonde happily. "Olimar and I are just having some bonding time together. Isn't that right, Olimar?" Olimar glared at him. Pit grinned, "Yep. Quality bonding time."

Peach stared and blinked. "… Ignoring that, how are you feeling, Ollie? Better, I hope."

Olimar shrugged and turned away from them, looking off to the side. Pit tilted his head and asked concernedly, "Why aren't you talking to us? Usually you're a lot more talkative than this."

"Is the oxygen making you mute or something? I think Master Hand would have told me if it was a side effect…" Peach pulled herself onto the bed and rest the back of her hand against Olimar's forehead, feeling for a fever. "Well, it seems normal. At least, I think so, unless being normal by human standards is lethal for your species. I wouldn't know."

"Anyway, Peach, any missions for us today?" Pit smiled at the princess excitedly, fists clenched in anticipation for what was to come. He had stayed by Olimar's side all night (and was rewarded with many hours of silence), and so he was practically dying for something new and interesting. "I hear Wario's being a real jerk lately to everyone. Not that he ever _isn't_, but… you know. That's something."

"We can't go after Wario if he hasn't actually done anything wrong, Pit," Peach sighed. "Even if he has been a bit more jerkish than usual. Until he actually does something that could harm another smasher, whether physically or emotionally, we can't do anything. As of right now… nothing has happened. You can't expect evil to strike every day, Pit! It may never rest, but it isn't twenty four seven either."

"… That didn't even make any sense, but aw," he groaned, flopping backwards onto the bed. "So now we're just expected to do nothing but sit here all day until something does happen?"

"You don't have to stay with me all the time," Peach huffed. "You can go into hero mode when a situation arises, but don't let that part of your life stop you from doing whatever it is you usually do."

"I usually hang out with Ike and Link, and every other day we used to go out to the pool and throw rocks at birds flying above us," ignoring the princess' surprised look, he continued whilst dramatically waving his arms in the air, "but that gets boring after a while, you know? This is new! Invigorating!" He sighed and dropped his arms. "By the way, did Lucas ever thank you for stopping Ness yesterday?"

"He sure did!" Peach smiled. "It was really sweet, too. Then he brought Ness over to apologize, but I don't think Ness realized exactly who it was he was responding to. After they left, I heard him going on about 'two mysterious people' and how he swore they were still somewhere in the mansion." She giggled. "He's right, of course, but he'll never know that."

"Secret identities are awesome," Pit nodded. "And Olimar will get to know just how cool this whole thing is the next time something happens! Right?"

Olimar muttered something under his breath before widening his eyes and covering his mouth. Peach's eyes widened and she leaned in closer, saying, "Huh? What was that? Say that again."

"Wait, what happened?" Pit moved closer to the two, curious in what was happening.

"I think Ollie tried to tell us something, but I have no idea what he just said. Say it again," she thought before adding, "please."

Olimar looked up at them and shook his head, both hands still covering his mouth. He pulled his legs closer to himself as an amusing type of barrier probably meant to keep the other two away, but Peach would have none of that. She reached forward and grabbed both of his arms and, due to her much larger size and greater physical strength, was able to pry them away with ease.

"Please, Ollie? I just want to know what you said. I promise I'll leave you alone if you just repeat yourself."

Olimar stared off in the distance for a moment before finally sighing and shaking again. Quickly, he repeated himself and closed his mouth shut instantly after he was done. Peach smiled and let go of his arms, which were limp and fell with a soft _thud_ on the bed. Pit strained his ears and leaned in even closer.

"Huh? What was that? I don't even know what you just said. Was that even English?"

Peach, still smiling, shook her head. "No, Pit, it wasn't. And that's why I was so curious." She looked at Olimar slyly, whose face heated up and he buried himself even deeper in the blankets. "I don't think he actually _can_ speak English. He never could."

"Wait, what?" Pit's eyes widened. "I don't get it. But he was speaking it just fine yesterday, and the day before that, and…"

"Exactly. I think his suit had some kind of instant translator thing inside of it, and that's how he was able to communicate with us! Now that he doesn't need it anymore, he can't talk to us! I don't know if he can understand us, though. Can you?"

Olimar looked up at her as if she was crazy, but didn't give any indication of understanding what was just said. Pit immediately burst out laughing, almost rolling off the bed in the process, but he managed to stop himself before he banged his head onto the nearby nightstand in the process. Olimar seemed to know enough of what was going on, and glared at the angel beneath the covers.

"That's hilarious!" Pit laughed. "You don't have the protection of your suit anymore, you can't talk to us, and you don't even understand us either!" Peach whacked the back of his head, and he sobered immediately. "Ow! … I know what that was for, though. That _was_ pretty mean. … Sorry, Olimar."

Peach thought for a moment before speaking aloud once more, "I guess we'll have to take it upon ourselves to actually teach Ollie English! It can't be too hard, right? It depends on however he speaks his native language, really… but we can get this done!"

"If we taught Marth how to speak English, this shouldn't be that much harder, right?" Pit asked her, tilting his head to the side.

"Well, Japanese is still a human language, whereas I don't think it's even possible for us to recreate the same sounds as Ollie. But we can try! I guess this is our heroic act of the day; Olimar's screwed if he can't talk to anyone and there isn't anyone to translate for him. Even the Pokémon have that."

"Right. So… where do we start?"

Peach brought a hand to her chin in thought before coming up with an idea. "We should teach him how to say our names first. So, Ollie! My name is Peach. Easy enough, right? Peach. Just hold out the 'ee' sound and add a 'ch' at the end."

Olimar stared at her before speaking something else in his native tongue. Neither Peach nor Pit knew exactly what he said, but they could probably give a good guess. _I know that much, Peach._ Olimar was smart; he probably had figured out what they were going to do before they even thought of doing it. At least, that's what Pit thought. He knew the Hocotatian was smart; he didn't know the limits of his knowledge exactly, but he wouldn't put it past him.

He also felt that the next few hours were going to be very long.

**OoO**

Samus groaned when she ran into the perky blonde princess in the middle of the hall. Next to Peach were Pit, who was covering his mouth and giggling like an idiot, and a red-faced Olimar, whose hand was being held by her like a small child. The bounty hunter had half a mind to turn on her heel and walk the other way, but before she could even make the first move Peach was up and about, smiling in her face.

"Hey, Samus!" she beamed. "How are you today?"

"I was doing fine until you showed up. Now my day is ruined," Samus deadpanned. Peach giggled.

"Nice to see you too, Sammy. Hey, do you know where Snake is? He's fluent in a bunch of different languages, so Pit and I were going to ask him for help."

Samus raised an eyebrow. "Why, are you trying to learn Japanese so you can watch Marth's silly shows with him?"

"No, though that'd be pretty cool too. We're trying to teach Ollie English now that he doesn't have his magical translating suit anymore, and he's learning pretty quickly, but we feel that he can learn even faster if we get the help of a professional."

Samus looked down at the Hocotatian clearly for the first time and noticed that, indeed, he wasn't wearing his trademark suit. She was slightly curious, but it wasn't any of her business. There was no point in asking, and she would probably find out what happened later anyway, whether she wanted to or not. "I haven't seen David all day. Thank god," she muttered under her breath. "You're probably best off asking Captain Falcon or something. I heard they were going to go brawling each other later today. Check the training rooms."

"Thank you!" She leaned in to kiss Samus on the cheek, but the bounty hunter predicted her move and deftly swiveled out of the way before she could make contact. Peach pouted but shrugged and dragged Olimar off down the hall in the direction of the training rooms. Pit stayed a little behind to give Samus a sheepish look before quickly following them.

Samus stared after the trio for just a moment longer before sighing. She was going to lock herself in her special room and not come out for the rest of the day.

"She was really nice," Peach hummed.

"Ever get the feeling that she really wants you to get in some horrible accident and never be involved in her life ever again?" Pit asked after catching up, almost shivering from the cold looks from Samus' face. "She scares me."

"Nah, that's just a part of who she is. You get used to it after living with her for two tournaments in a row," the princess smiled. "And I'm sure she doesn't really think that! She's just… misunderstood, is all."

"Right…" Pit sighed. He looked around at his surroundings. "I really hope they're in the training room. I don't feel like going on a wild goose chase all over the mansion for just one guy. We could have Olimar fluent in English by the time it takes to find him."

Before Peach could respond, a blue blur suddenly appeared in front of them, causing Pit to almost trip and fall on his face. "Hey, what the heck?!" The angel gasped as he steadied himself back upright. Sonic grinned up at him.

"Hey, are you three busy, by any chance?"

"Yes," Pit frowned.

"Not really," Peach smiled.

"No," Olimar muttered.

"Great!" Sonic clapped his hands together. "Listen, I need you guys to do a favor for me. I was downstairs, making myself a chili dog for lunch, because who doesn't like chili dogs? But anyway, I was doing that, and then Wario comes in out of nowhere and just takes it out of my hands and eats it! The hell kind of jerkish move is that? Of course, I let him have it, and he just laughs in my face and goes off stealing Toon Link's cake that he was saving for later as well."

"I originally had no interest in helping you, but now I'm annoyed," Pit frowned. "Toon Link was looking forward to that cake! How dare Wario!"

"Now you're seeing things my way," Peach grinned. _This is exactly what happened with Captain Falcon and Zelda! Maybe we'll have some heroics today, after all…_

"Oh, dear," Olimar sighed and covered his face in his hands. "We are going to do this again, are we not." It wasn't a question.

"You still talk a little funny, but yes! Of course! And this is highly convenient for us since Pit wanted to get Wario earlier today as well," Peach shrugged.

Pit's shoulders sagged in realization. "Hey, that's right! This is perfect!"

Sonic stared at them, highly confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but hold on because I'm not done. Ganondorf was kind of egging him on since Toon Link did that whole hand-in-warm-water-while-sleeping prank on him last week, and that was his form of petty revenge. And because this is Ganondorf, you just know he isn't going to stop there. I saw him hauling a bunch of super spicy curry backs down to the kitchen, too, and guess what? He's got dinner duty today! Jigglypuff's also been stationed down there to make sure he doesn't do anything suspicious, but he is pretty sneaking, and she's not exactly the… perceptive type. You see where I'm going with this, right?"

"There's no way he'll know which bowl is Toon Link's," Pit realized. "He probably brought so many down there because he plans on sabotaging all of them!"

"How awful," Peach frowned. "Someone has to stop him!"

"And that's why I came to you guys," Sonic smiled. "I'd do something about this myself, but I promised I'd meet up with Zelda later today for some training, and you know how scary she is when she's angry. I'm telling this to every person I pass on my way to meet her. So, you know, just keep on the lookout, okay? And be careful with your food tonight."

"Got it," Peach nodded. "Thank you for the information!"

"Not a problem," the blue hedgehog grinned and waved at them before speeding off down the hallway. Just barely could they hear an aggravated shout from Samus, but they paid it no mind.

"So we've got two troublemakers to deal with today, right, Peach?" Pit smiled excitedly. "We're going to split up again, right? Two of us can take down Ganondorf since he's scarier and stronger, and then one person can go for Wario on their own!"

"Wario did not really do anything, though…" Olimar spoke up. "Toon Link has had that cake for months. It has gone bad by now. He would never eat it."

"Well then, that's just a little added humor," the angel smirked. "But we still have to go and let him know that it is _not_ okay to do that! Are you with me, Peach?"

Peach thought for a moment, humming. "I'm not so sure about Wario, but Ganondorf is definitely a problem. What is it with these people and bringing large supplies of brawl items to places? Don't they know how obvious it is? I hope the next few people take cues from Captain Falcon and actually learn to not do that sort of thing. It's stupid. Anyway! Who's willing to take on whom?"

"I call Ganondorf!" Pit shouted loudly, fist raised in the air. "I can handle him, no problem! I beat him all the time in our matchups!"

"I do not really have a choice either way," Olimar sighed. "I do not really care."

Peach stared at the Hocotatian before deciding, "You can go after Wario by yourself, then. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Right…" Olimar laughed humorlessly.

The princess looked both ways before reaching into her dress and pulling out her magical staff. The other two males would have questioned where the hell she even kept it, but were so used to her randomly pulling out Toad during their matches that they didn't bother. Some things were better left unknown.

"Wait," Olimar gasped, quickly shielding his eyes before the bright light from Peach's transformation could blind him for the second time in a row, "You are changing _here?_ _In the middle of the hallway?!_"

Pit shrugged and shut his eyes, not wanting to be met with the bright light. He kind of wanted to undergo a similar transformation rather than carry his hero (would hero be the appropriate term for it? He wouldn't exactly call it his 'magical girl' outfit for rather obvious reasons) clothes everywhere he went in case trouble arose at any given opportunity. The angel kept it in mind to ask Peach later how he would be able to do something like that.

A few seconds later, magical girl Peach stood where the regular princess once was, ready to bring justice to the mansion and raring to go. "Alright, Pit!" Pit stood to attention as the woman thrust a piece of cardboard with three large holes punched into it into his hands. "This is your makeshift mask for now. I'm working on a new one for you to use, but it's not ready yet. So this is yours for the time being!"

The angel looked down at the mask and blinked. "Um, thanks, Peach. I'll treasure it with all of my heart."

"Good. Now go change, both of you!" Both males jumped and quickly ran off to find bathrooms where they could quickly change without chance of getting caught. They weren't as lucky as Peach to have their own magical transformation sequence, so they would have to do it the old fashioned way. The magical girl tried thinking of a more convenient way for them to change, but her head hurt when she thought about it too much. Their induction into the magical girl fighting world was a bit… unorthodox, she had to say. Until she could find a steady middle ground, they would just have to deal with it.

"Now, then," she took a few steps forward, hand resting in her chin. "I can either go find Ganondorf right now, or wait for them to come back. I'd really rather hurry before any damage gets done," she looked at the clock on the wall that read five in the afternoon, "Because they're probably going to start soon. But I'm supposed to be working with Pit, and I'll probably have the entire situation under control by the time he gets there!" She ran her slender fingers through her hair. "Agh, having sidekicks is such a hassle sometimes…"

During her little self-rant, she failed to notice a certain young smasher starting wide-eyed at her from the other end of the hallway. Ness was at a complete loss for words; should he go up to her and start a commotion, or should he just leave her be? She was the entire reason he got into trouble the day before! He didn't once think about how it was he himself who had started the whole thing, but he was too busy panicking to care.

"H-hey," he finally mustered up the courage to call out for her, and she turned to face him. "You're that woman that found me yesterday. Where's the other guy?"

Peach blinked. "Oh, you must be talking about Tenshi! He's a bit… busy right now, and I have some important business to take care of as well. Don't get yourself into trouble again, okay?"

Ness frowned. "That's all you're going to say to me after yesterday?"

"Well… yeah. Why, do you want me to say something else?"

"… No. I guess not," the young smasher looked away and held his arm awkwardly. _She's not as scary a person when we're talking civilly like this_, he thought. _But why does she look so familiar? _"… Can you at least tell me your name?"

"Oujo-hime," Peach smiled. "That's the name you can refer to me by."

"But that isn't a real name. I want a real one."

"Isn't it enough to know what I'll respond to? I won't answer to anything else." She could hear multiple footsteps coming down the hall in her direction, and she knew exactly whom they belonged to. "You should get going now, Ness. There's something we have to do."

"Is Tenshi going to be here?" But his question went unanswered as the woman gestured to someone he couldn't see from the other side of the hallway, and she darted past him to the stairs. Just a few seconds later, a male figure he recognized as Tenshi from yesterday ran past him carrying someone else, someone much smaller, he couldn't recognize. And just like that, all three were out of his sight. "Hey!"

He had half a mind to follow them, but they did seem pretty keen on something… "But I really want to know who they are," he tried reasoning with himself. "… Oh, who cares!" And with that, he ran off in the same direction the mysterious people went, curiosity winning over everything else.

Already quite a bit away, Pit had just caught up to Peach, Olimar in his arms. "Okay, we'll get a bit closer to Wario's room and I'll just drop you off there, okay?"

"Wait, how will I get in?" Olimar wondered, clinging to the angel's jacket tightly. "It is not custom for everyone to keep their doors open, and…" his face turned a slight shade of pink," … I cannot reach the door knob. It is Falcon who usually lets me in my own room."

Pit resisted the urge to laugh out loud. "Oh yeah, that _will_ be a problem, won't it?"

"No problem! Come with me!" Peach grabbed the angel's arm and led the males into a nearby closet, away from any eavesdroppers. "Okay Ollie, we're going to do something a bit different again today, if you'll bear with me."

"No," Olimar frowned in resolve. "After what you just made me go through, I do not think—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Peach tapped his forehead lightly with her staff. A white light engulfed the object before transferring to Olimar's body itself, and Pit nearly dropped the poor male due to the sudden change. "What are you doing to him?" The angel asked, curiosity at its peak.

"I'm not sure," Peach frowned, "But whatever it is, it's temporary."

"Temporary?"

"I can do this every time we go on a mission like this, but it'll only last for an hour at tops. Half an hour at least. So it'll probably run out sometime in between then, and I won't be able to do this for another twenty four hours."

"Is there anything you _can't_ do?"

"Well… there are some things, I guess. I haven't really tested my limits yet. But I'm pretty sure I can't do everything whenever it's convenient. I guess it's a good thing I'm still getting used to this and seeing what I actually can do right now. I'll test the extent of my powers tomorrow, but I think this is by far the craziest thing I'm capable of."

"So what exactly are you trying to do to him?"

"I… was just seeing if I could make him taller, or something. But I don't think that's exactly what's happening."

"Why, what's—oh, whoa." Pit nearly dropped Olimar for the second time after the light died down, blinking in surprise at the sudden change.

The Hocotatian blinked before inspecting the changes to his body and looking up at Peach with a surprised look on his face. "You… wha—what did you do to me…?"

"Hey, Ollie…" Peach was almost at a loss for words. "How old are you?"

"What kind of question is that?" He paused, before answering, "It's… really none of your business. I'm old enough to have a family, and that's all I'm leaving on the matter."

"Hey, you're speaking normally again!" Pit smiled. "Also, I think Peach just turned you into a human."

"_What?!_" Olimar screeched and squirmed, forcing the angel to let him go. His feet landed on the ground with a _thump_, and the ex-Hocotatian noted that indeed, he was definitely noticeably taller. But at the cost of being a _human_?

Peach couldn't help the smile that had slowly begun forming on her face. "You… you're… so adorable!" She wrapped her arms around the surprised male in a tight hug. "I thought you were a bit older than you looked, but holy crap! You look like a little kid! Maybe it's something to do with your height and how small you were as a Hocotatian? I don't know, but the point still stands that you are so _cute_!"

"Stop! I'm not!" Olimar pushed her away, still quite unbelieving in his situation. Everything about it pointed otherwise, however… but the most that changed was that he was taller and now had a full head of hair. And the fact that he was an adult man in a child's body, of course.

"You still have your pointy ears, though," Pit flicked one, and Olimar's hands quickly shot up to cover them. "So I wouldn't say you're entirely human, but… close enough."

"And your clothes actually fit better! Too bad this isn't permanent," Peach sighed.

"I'm very glad this isn't permanent!" Olimar was in full panic mode. "How do you expect me to do anything like _this_ for an entire hour?"

"You can actually do more things now that you're taller," Pit snickered. "Maybe you've reached the same height as the children now! Congratulations." Olimar hissed.

"Okay, there's no more time to spare," Peach frowned. "We have to move, and quickly now! Ollie, you can get to Wario's room on your own now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Good! Let's go, Pit!" The angel nodded and the two quickly left for the kitchen, ready to stop Ganondorf and his 'evil' scheme. Olimar took a second to compose himself and left the closet… just to come face to face with a certain child smasher.

"Who're you?" Ness asked. "Are you with Tenshi and Oujo-hime? What do they call _you_?"

Olimar blinked. "Um, yes, I suppose. And…" _I never did get a name… _"I have to go now!" Without waiting for even a reaction, he turned on his heel and started running in the direction he knew Wario's room to be, scarf fluttering behind him. It felt odd, using his taller legs, but overall it wasn't too bad. Now he'd just have to get used to temporarily having a smaller nose.

**OoO**

"Stop right there!"

Ganondorf had just succeeded in distracting Jigglypuff so that she wouldn't interrupt him in his plan to spoil dinner when two crazy people dressed in outlandish outfits barged inside and pointed brightly colored objects at him. He didn't exactly know how to react, but he sure as hell wasn't about to let them interfere.

"We know what you're planning," Tenshi said, holding his cardboard mask (which Ganondorf found hilarious, actually) in place. "And we won't let you go through with it!"

"And what exactly am I planning?" Ganondorf asked. "I'm in charge of dinner tonight, so I have a right to be here."

"That is true," the woman said. "But we have reason to believe you hauled down a box of super spicy curry packs with a plan to ruin everyone's dinner just because of a silly prank done to you last week by Toon Link you just can't forget!"

_That brat_, Ganondorf thought bitterly. "I don't know what you're talking about. Do you see any boxes here?" The two looked up and down, around the kitchen, to see that… there actually wasn't even a single box in sight. "How do you expect me to 'spoil dinner', as you say, with super spicy curry if _I don't even have super spicy curry with me_?"

"That's, uh… huh," Tenshi blinked, letting his guard down. "I really don't have an answer for that."

"You're hiding them somewhere, I know it," Oujo-hime frowned, gripping her pink staff even tighter. "Tell us where the stash is."

"The stash doesn't exist, now can you please leave before I'm late with our food? I know you two are smashers, I don't know exactly who and I don't care, but I would really appreciate it if you would leave me to my cooking. You know how everyone gets when they aren't served their meals right away." The two gulped, and Ganondorf knew he had this in the bag.

The male angel stood up straight and apologized, "I, uh… I'm sorry, I guess. For bothering you. Carry on!"

The woman gaped in astonishment and quickly followed her partner out. "What are you doing?" she hissed at him as soon as they were out of range. "You know he's hiding them somewhere!"

"What are we going to do, ask him to leave while we investigate the kitchen?" Tenshi scoffed, crossing his arms.

Oujo-hime blinked, hand frozen in mid-air. "That's not so bad. I'll ask him."

"Hey, wait!" The angel reached out a hand to grab her shoulder but just barely missed before the blonde had made her way back within the kitchen walls. Quietly he groaned to himself as he listened to the conversation that had started between the two.

"Excuse me," Oujo-hime chimed in, voice as bright and chipper as ever.

"What do you want? I'm trying to cook," Ganondorf growled back. Undaunted, the magical girl continued her inquiry.

"I was just wondering… you know I can't just leave this alone, right? I have to check and make sure you aren't lying. If you really aren't hiding anything, then I shouldn't find anything and it shouldn't be a problem, right? You should have nothing to worry about if you were telling the truth."

"Fine," the dark lord responded instantly. "Just hurry up, I can't leave you here for long." Tenshi moved out of the way as the large smasher passed by him without even a second glance. Bewildered at how the plan actually worked, he blinked his blue eyes and ducked into the kitchen next to his partner. Not a moment later, they could hear Ganondorf calling, "Five minutes, maximum!"

"That's more than enough, thank you!" Oujo-hime called back and turned to Tenshi with a sly grin. "See? You just have to try."

"Right," the male sighed. "So I guess I'll look over this half of the kitchen, and you look over that half?"

"Sounds like a plan!"

Instantly the two got to work, looking and sorting through various pots, pans, cabinets, and drawers for any sign of a super spicy curry stash. The curry itself was never meant to be used for actual meals (unless given proper permission by Master Hand), and thus was always kept in the items vault for brawls. If Ganondorf had indeed been telling the truth, they wouldn't be able to find a single pack.

Tenshi felt irritated as he frantically opened drawers and cabinets to find nothing out of the ordinary. "He _has_ to be keeping them somewhere," he muttered. "… But wait. What if Sonic was lying to us?"

"Why would he do that?" Oujo-hime asked, feeling along the tiled floor for any hidden compartments. "Sonic wouldn't lie about something like this."

"Yes, he would," the male groaned in response, taking a hint from his partner and feeling along the walls. "Why, I don't know. He could have done this just for kicks; he doesn't strike me as the 'sweet' and 'innocent' type."

The magical girl didn't respond right away, but she did pick herself off the ground and sighed as she leaned against the kitchen wall. "I can't find or feel anything unusual. How about you?"

"I'm coming up empty, too. This is ridiculous. How about we go give Sonic a piece of our mind for lying to us and wasting our time?"

"You're the one who wanted something to do!"

"But this has no reward or benefit! This was just an empty goose chase, with no end result! I'd like to at least feel _some_ gratification for saving the mansion."

Oujo-hime sighed. "I guess we should go get Ollie then and call this off…"

* * *

It struck Olimar as soon as he stood in front of Wario's door that he actually had no idea what it was he was supposed to be doing. All he understood was that he was supposed to teach Wario a 'lesson'… but how, exactly? He wasn't the intimidating type of person at all, even with his new appearance.

_Then there's Peach, calling me a little kid_, he thought in annoyance. _There's no way I can do anything to Wario!_

Before he could think and worry over his situation even further, he heard the sound of heavy footsteps walking up the stairs in his direction. _Shit_. And without wasting another second, he turned the doorknob and slipped himself into Wario's room.

The first thing he noticed was the stench that nearly caused him to double over. _I can't breathe…_ He covered his nose and closed his eyes, fearing that they would start to burn if he kept them open for too long. Slowly he reached out a hand and attempted to feel his way around the room, hoping he didn't step into something unthinkable. _After this, I am taking a shower and never coming out_, he thought determinedly.

His pointed ears twitched as the door he just entered through started to open. _Ah, crap!_ Quickly he dove under what he hoped was the bed, and trying stifling his breathing to ensure he didn't get caught.

"Good thing I had half a mind to keep the stash somewhere else," a deep voice sounded throughout the room. _Ganondorf? _Olimar opened his eyes, and was met face to… feet. Just beyond the dark lord's legs he could see a full-body mirror, and was finally able to look at himself for the first time.

_Ah, I do look like a child…_ He pouted, and his ears twitched once more as Ganondorf stormed past him and made his way to the other side of the room. Olimar noticed that his brown hair was rather soft-looking and fluffed outwards at the ends. His eyes seemed to be a bright blue color (much like the other heroes of the mansion…), and that was all he could see of his new appearance from his current angle. Gingerly he reached up to tug at the red ribbon tied around his ear, but stopped as it proved to be too sensitive. _Great… how long do I have until this wears off again?_

His inner turmoil was temporarily interrupted as Ganondorf made a loud groaning noise, and he heard a rumble as a bunch of objects crashed to the ground. Curiosity getting the better of him, he poked a little bit of his head out from under the bed.

The dark lord was carrying a rather large cardboard box, the contents of which the ex-Hocotatian couldn't see. _I have a pretty good guess, though_, he thought. _It's either now or never!_

Quickly he pulled the rest of his body out from under the bed and valiantly stood in front of the dark lord, hands firmly placed on his hips. "Ganondorf!" he called out with as steady a voice as he could muster, "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop there." _Oh God, am I really doing this…?_

"Where the hell did you come from?" The much larger smasher moved the box out of the way to squint down at Olimar. "Damn midgets. Master Hand can't even keep them out…"

"Hey," Olimar frowned. "Listen to me; I'm actually here to stop you."

"Stop me from what? Making a delivery?"

"Well, um…" he thought for a moment. "What's in the box?"

"None of your damn business, brat. Now get out of my way," Ganondorf spat and kicked Olimar with his foot. The ex-Hocotatian coughed and sputtered, but managed to hold onto his rather thick boots. "Get lost."

"N-no," Olimar groaned. Tentatively he reached out and grabbed the fabric on the dark lord's legs and used the new momentum to pull himself upwards.

Ganondorf let out a surprised yell and dropped the box he was carrying as soon as Olimar reached it, spilling the contents of the inside all over the floor. The ex-Hocotatian himself shouted as he fell backwards and just barely managed to maneuver himself so as to not smash his face into the ground. Groaning, the small smasher picked himself up and came face to face with…

"Aha!" he grabbed a super spicy curry pack and flaunted it in the dark lord's face. "I knew it! This isn't a delivery; you're going to sabotage all of our dinners!" His eyes widened and he let out a small squeak as he nearly revealed himself, but Ganondorf either didn't notice or didn't care.

"God damn it, you freaks have been swarming me all day! First Sonic and his bullshit, then Wario insisting on this stupid plan, then those two dumbasses down in the kitchen, and now you! When will you people learn to leave me alone? Screw this!" Finally at the end of his rope, he grabbed at his orange hair and stomped out of the room, leaving Olimar alone.

The ex-Hocotatian blinked, unsure of what had just occurred. "Did he just say this was all Wario's plan…?" Shaking his head, he sighed and started putting the super spicy curry packs back into the box. _I'd better hurry and get out of here before Wario returns,_ he thought._ Or before my nose falls off. Whichever comes first._

A rapt knocking on the door startled him and he nearly dove under the bed again, but the familiar voice stopped him in his tracks before he could do so. "Ollie! Ollie! Are you in there? Mission aborted; false alarm!"

He closed the top of the box and pushed the heavy object (since he couldn't carry it) towards the door. "Yes, Oujo-hime, I'm in here."

The magical girl opened the door, revealing Tenshi standing not too far off behind her. "What are you holding?"

"A box full of super spicy curry packs," Olimar smiled, handing the box over for her to inspect. "Ganondorf came in here just a bit ago and tried taking it, but, um… I guess I stopped him. Or something."

"Ha! I knew he was hiding it somewhere!" The woman gave a fist pump and rubbed Olimar's head. The ex-Hocotatian calmly waved her off, and Tenshi simply stared at the two in shock.

"Well… huh," he breathed. "I guess dinner is saved after all."

"But why did he keep it in Wario's room?"

"Probably to make it even worse," Tenshi waved the air in front of his nose. "It smells awful in here. How are you still alive, Olimar?"

"I have no idea," Olimar said honestly. "But can we please leave before I actually do collapse?"

"Good idea," Oujo-hime said, handing the box over to the angel and quickly dragging Olimar out of the room.

Pit removed the cardboard mask from his face and shook his head. "Wow, today was boring. Nothing happened."

"You're just jealous because Ollie saved the day and you didn't," Oujo-hime stuck out her tongue, holding Olimar close. The smallest smasher squirmed and tried to get out of her tight grip, but to no avail.

"Hey, um, how long do I have to stay like this?"

"Oh, probably for another ten minutes or so," the woman shrugged. "But you have to admit it was pretty useful, right?"

"I will never admit something like that."

"Haha, I know you're lying."

"So if turning you human somehow made your English perfect," Pit said aloud suddenly, "Does that mean that you'll go back to your really awkward sounding English when you turn back into a Hocotatian?"

"I'm not sure," Olimar shrugged. "I don't think so, but I guess we'll see when it actually happens."

The trio continued their casual conversations as they walked down the hallway to return the packs of super spicy curry where they belonged. But standing behind them, hidden behind the corner of a wall, stood a certain young smasher with his eyes wide open as he came upon a realization.

_Tenshi is Pit?_

**OoO**

**A/N: So… how about that Nintendo Direct yesterday? Earthbound on Wii U, Dream Team release date, **_**Pikmin 3 **_**release date finally (I have been waiting **_**months**_** for that one)… good. Very, very good.**

**Anyway! Human!Olimar, of course and as mentioned in the chapter itself, isn't a permanent thing. Pretty much expect him to be Hocotatian at all times unless Pit and Peach are in 'magical hero' mode, in which he'll be forcefully turned into a human again against his will. Expect Pit to get something of his own later on as well.**

**I… don't think I have much else to say, actually. See you all next update!**

**( Oh wait, if you haven't checked out the drawings on my profile yet, feel free to do so. They're just sketches, but… it'll at least give you an idea on what I envisioned these characters to look like in their outfits, heh. ) ( And yes, Olimar's drawing is human, which is why I asked you to read this chapter first. C: )**


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